Moose Lake Star Gazette - Serving Carlton and Pine Counties Since 1895

By Wick Fisher
Moose Lake Star-Gazette 

'Are you married?' she asked

Wick's World

 


I will call the new immigration policy for what it really is — the deportation policy. In my opinion, the sole purpose of the “Build That Wall” chant that is the anthem of the latest anti-immigrant policy and everything related to it is to whitewash America back to its original state of white, male privilege. This policy will have serious repercussions and here is a strange one.

The example I can give of this happened last week on my 70th birthday. I was standing along the shoreline in Long Beach, California. In the background was the Queen Mary II, now serving not only as a tourist attraction, but also as a floating hotel. My wife and I had a room at the Marriot courtyard facing the harbor. When I first looked out our window, I realized I was looking at the famous Queen Mary II.

Early the next morning after my wife made her way to the convention center for a presentation, I headed to the harbor for some photo shoots. At the top of my list was a picture with me and the Queen Mary II. Although rather inept at the art of taking a "selfie," that appeared to be my only choice if I wanted to prove I had a relationship with Queen Mary II.

I stepped on to the large rocks that served as the rip rap lining Long Beach Harbor. Most of my attention was focused on trying not to fall while taking a picture. I didn’t notice the fortyish Latino lady with the jet black pony tail approach me.

“Do you want me to take your picture?” she said in fluent English.

She was plenty friendly, well dressed and looked trustworthy to me, so I readily agreed. I set my cell phone on camera mode and handed it to her. I stepped back on the rocks making certain I wasn’t obscuring the Queen Mary II. What I heard next could only be described as one of the most shocking statements directed at me in my lifetime. This was not something that was said to me on a regular occurrence, if ever.

The pretty, dark-haired Latino woman said in very fluent English, “Are you married?”

I almost fell backward down the bank of rocks. I politely answered, “Very happily, thank you.”

The camera clicked. Then it clicked several times more as I assume she wanted to be certain to get at least one "good" photo. I think I said thank you. I think she said you’re welcome. I really don’t remember. The only thought I had for certain was, “What the heck was that about?”

Pretty young women do not go trolling for 70-year-old men, especially ones dressed in a T-shirt, shorts and sandals. By no means was I exuding richness, money or wealth of any kind.

Sitting on a bar stool in Hooters (the only place I could find a non-alcoholic beer) I pondered the events that had just occurred, trying to make some sense of this highly unexplainable happenstance. I began to brainstorm the situation. The first thing necessary to finding a solution was to eliminate the obvious fantasies. Was it a case of love at first sight? That was impossible, unless she was completely blind. Was she simply joking? I don’t think so, because she sounded deadly serious.

Then it struck me like a border patrol agent who had just caught an illegal alien following an all night chase through the Sonora Desert. This woman was looking for a marriage of convenience. She had picked the wrong man. I was already married and no longer convenient, not that I ever was. For an illegal alien, marriage to an American citizen would have been a fast track to remaining in America. Even if I am completely wrong about the series of events that occurred on that strange birthday morning, I think my explanation has some validity to it.

My question of the day: Can marriage defer deportation and will marriages of convenience become a new loophole?

 

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